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Whether it's a couple in love or a couple just entering marriage, everyone wants to have a long and stable relationship with their partner, but with the divorce rate climbing high today, growing old in white is becoming more and more of a fairy tale. It is said that love has a shelf life of only three years and that permanent passion cannot exist. According to Dr. Bernard Geberovitz, French gender expert and psychotherapist, author of "The 7 Virtues of Couples" and "I Stopped Being Jealous", a long-lasting relationship actually depends more on how well two people get along and the efforts they make to do so.

The transience of passion makes it possible to deepen the relationship<o:p></o:p>

Bernard Jebelowitz observes that "young people nowadays are overly attached to passion, which is quite worrying - on the one hand, they are very egotistical and stubborn and refuse to give up their habits for each other, such as spending long hours on the computer screen, sitting next to their lovers and non-stop playing with the phone, and so on; on the other hand, they can hardly tolerate frustration, when they hear that love has a shelf life, so they say to themselves, 'In that case, why not start the next fling right away.'"<o:p></o:p>

Couples who seek counseling from Dr. Bernade-Zebelowitz usually come to their first visit with a pre-prepared list of what they think is wrong in their marriage. After listening to them for a long time, Bernade-Zebelowitz asks them, "What do you think is not wrong between you? What makes you cherish each other? What made you decide to live together? What made you come to the clinic?" In this way, they will be made to understand that they have a joint responsibility for the marital relationship and are joint builders of married life.<o:p></o:p>

According to Bernard Gerberowicz, the initial feeling of love that arises between couples is like a cornerstone on which to commit to each other as partners, "What we should understand is that the disappearance of passion is inevitable, but it is the relative transience of this emotion that makes it possible for the couple to develop into the next dimension of another kind. The relationship between partners is always in the transition between the intensity and the lightness of the moment. The harmony of two people living together is from the different rhythms of each to the final harmony with each other."<o:p></o:p>

The courage to express your needs to each other<o:p></o:p>

According to Bernard Gerberowicz, it is very important to constantly cultivate and maintain curiosity about each other in a couple's life together, which prevents the two people from becoming routine, so it becomes necessary for couples to spend more time communicating with each other. "Communication is both the ability to be able to talk about yourself, but also the ability to be brave enough to ask questions of the other person, and to be interested in others." Bernade-Zebelowitz said. He has found that a common problem among couples is that each person assumes that the other is "no longer interested in them" and loses confidence as a result. But in fact, misunderstandings can be solved by simply expressing your needs to the other person. Every day, Bernard Gerberowitz observes the disconnection caused by misunderstandings and the wear and tear they have on relationships. "The most typical misunderstanding is when a person is thinking, 'If he/she loves me, he/she should understand what I want without me telling him/her!' Such thinking is actually very dangerous and can easily lead a relationship between two people to a dead end."<o:p></o:p>

Of course, making demands requires effort. When Bernard Geberovitz asks his patients, "Have you made an effort to express your needs to the other person," many retort, "It should be spontaneous, he/she should understand it." Bernade-Zebelowitz says, "These people are under the impression that the word 'effort' equals submission for gender relationships. But in fact, there is no effort that is shameful if it is for 'us'. This transformation from 'I' to 'we' is crucial, and this intimacy and solidarity is an important step in strengthening gender relationships, which are the fruit of true commitment."<o:p></o:p>

Distinguishing between "transparency" and "tacit understanding"<o:p></o:p>

However, "intimacy and solidarity" does not mean "total transparency. It's important to keep a "secret garden" for yourself while building an intimate life for two people. Dr. Jean-Christophe Seznik, author of "Learn to be Silent, Learn to Tell," tells the story of a man who ran into his ex-girlfriend at a dinner party and was honest and open with her: "Did you see that girl over there? It's so fun to see her again, we were together for 10 years and then I cheated ......" The current said nothing, but a few months later, during an argument, she used the incident as a basis for not being able to trust him: "With you, I can't be sure of what will What happens ......" After that, whenever she had the chance, she would rehash this dishonest past of his in an argument, making him forever the party at fault.<o:p></o:p>

Through this example, Jean-Christophe Seznik reminds us that many couples today are strongly advocating the need for "honesty and transparency" between partners in order to build a "lasting and trusting" relationship, which seems to be an unwritten "rule of thumb". This seems to be an unwritten "rule," but "all-around honesty" is not necessarily good for relationships. He says, "We must pay attention to the authoritarian nature of discourse, for example, the requirement that partners 'talk about everything' in a relationship is a form of discursive coercion. brought on endless attacks for himself."<o:p></o:p>

Dr. Sylvain Mimoun, author of "The Selfishness You Can Share" and a French sexologist, is a fan of advocating the freedom to retain necessary rights between couples. He believes that forcing a partner to set up as a receiving pool for his or her mental state, memories, and desires is a bad idea. An intimate and inseparable relationship comes, in his view, largely out of the egoism of the person who wants to share it. He believes that "if people are in a state of 'I'll say what I want to say and do what I want to do' without taking into account the mood and feelings of the other person, people will deviate from the 'right track' and from what can be two people shared happiness." In his opinion, it is very necessary to distinguish between "transparency" and "tacit understanding". tacit understanding' is that both people will feel happy."<o:p></o:p>

"Our inner world is made up of fantasies, secrets, dreams," says Sylvain Mimoun, "We have many precious, personal things that need to be protected and must be stored in solitude and ego, so why must these things be told to another person? "<o:p></o:p>

"Being open and honest can make someone a good partner for you, but it comes at the cost of losing the passion that makes a couple's relationship dynamic." Jean-Christophe Seznik says, "We each have a 'backroom' of our own, and that's something to be happy about. If everything there is bared, the other person may lose interest in 'eating' it."<o:p></o:p>

Having sex in a reasonable way further enhances the relationship<o:p></o:p>

In order to leave a good feeling for each other, many people want to give each other the best side, but many people are still the first time so they are very afraid of not doing well, then you can first consider buying a sex doll to practice, now there are a variety of styles and types of dolls, you can choose according to their preferences, they can be dynamic young sex dolls, can also be understanding mature sex dolls, in addition to you can also choose the custom option to choose a custom full-size sex doll, they are very realistic dolls, you can and through the practice with them to strengthen your lovemaking ability.<o:p></o:p>